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Is Being “Bae” better than being Wifey

It has been the longest running season of the “Bae” era, everyone has a “Bae”, or someone on the side. It’s as though no one seems to take relationships serious anymore. People don’t get into relationships for love, it’s more like for show, or to obtain the hashtag “relationship goals” even though the actual relationship isn’t what it appear to be on social media. There are more “social media relationships” than there are any real relationship goals. People are staying in bad situations for “Likes”, the opinions of others, and to keep up with the joneses of the “celebrity couples”.—All I ever hear my friends, and even guys say is “I don’t have time for the games” is this what relationships have come to, is it really all a GAME? Who is “Bae” anyway? What gives a woman, or man the title of “Bae”?  Is “Bae” the new “Sideline”, or does “Bae” have a higher position, or title? Bottom line, the traditional relationship goals have fizzled, and I hate to admit it, but being in a “Relationship” nowadays is overrated, played out, and dull. Disagree?

Well, if it hasn’t, It sure does seem that way– I can assure you that 98% of the human race has “Trust issues”, and aren’t so willing to give anyone the “Benefit of a doubt” anymore, especially not when their hearts are at stake. No one seems to want to even say the R word, or even think twice about going that route, it seems as though everybody just woke up one day, and said F it, and now they only look for SEX with benefits, and some of these unusual arrangements don’t even come with benefits, or involve any strings being attached. I’ve talked to several “Bae” couples, and I was surprised to hear how these situations are actually working out. Both parties are comfortable, and like it the way it is, no one wanted to even talk about the possibilities of making is official, marriage, moving in with each other, or committing. It made me rethink, and re-evaluate my own “Bae” situation. I had to really ask myself, “What the hell are you doing”, “Is this really what I want”, am I that scarred, scared, and damaged, are my trust issues that serious”? I even had to ask myself “Do I even care about this person, does this person even care about me, would I care if he doesn’t care about me”?

Yessss, I was asking myself all types of questions, it really boggled my mind for a minute, because I had to face the reality that I really had feelings for this guy, “I had fallen in love with him”, and I finally had to KEEP IT REAL with myself, and admit the TRUTH that I really DID want more than our “Bae” situation. It was one of the hardest truths I ever had to face, it WAS NOT supposed to happen that way, he definitely wasn’t ready for a commitment, and I wasn’t too sure if I was even ready I just knew he was the only one I wanted to be with. I subconsciously made myself his “girlfriend” I exhibited loyalty, and faithfulness to him, oh yeah, my feelings for him were undeniable, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it, I felt stupid, but not in denial, because I was very aware that we WERE NOT in a relationship, because while I was saving myself for him, he was living his life as the “single man”, and I knew it–

I couldn’t blame him for what I was feeling, because I knew what I was getting myself into, so I dealt with every pain, heartbreak, disappointment, and grief I suffered from allowing my damn feelings to get out of control. (I was single longer than he was is my theory as to why I even got caught up, but I still wasn’t ready)— I was just playing my part in the situation,  because that was the arrangement in the beginning, but after being in this “Bae” situation for almost 3 years WITHOUT any knowledge of his friends, or family I began to question my self-respect. Although it was fun, exciting, and spontaneous, and started out as the PERFECT situation, all that fun, excitement, and perfection only made me want him to want that exclusively with me, but once I started catching feelings it was hard to stick to the rules so I had to put my big girl panties on, accept the reality of it, and decide whether to stay in, or get out, hummm, wouldn’t you guys like to know what I did, Lol, To Be Continued….

Anyways, I don’t know how it’s  even possible for people to stay in these situations, because sooner, or later one of you are going to start catching feelings –it’s my guess that it is in fact the “feelings” they have grown for one another that they’re not willing to admit is why they’re even still in this situation– do you just stick to the rules, and guidelines even though you’ve caught feelings?  It’s definitely more complicated than most would like to admit, but is it really that complicated when so many people have settled for being just that, “Bae”?  Is being “Bae” the safety net to our hearts? Even I was okay with it at one point, because being “Bae” just seemed to make the “Situation” more exciting. I felt kinda special being “Bae” it kinda turned me on, smh. I don’t know what it is that makes being “Bae” so comfortable, but I liked it! It wasn’t until I started to catch real feelings for my “Bae” that I realized how complicated, and frustrating the situation was. Not only that, you don’t realize how serious the other person is with the whole idea until you either want out, or want more.

While being in a “Bae” situation (Not a relationship) might seem to be the safer way to go, be careful, because your heart isn’t as guarded as you think– it takes time to get to know someone, and all this “Bae” situation is doing is providing the quality time we all want without the commitment, pressure, responsibilities, and titles of a real relationship. Nevertheless, you’re still spending time with that person, and eventually your heart will get caught up so BE CAREFUL, and Good Luck with that situation!

 

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