Settling is the new standard

Photo Courtesy: The Frisky

Relationship goals is no longer the goal-Commitment, marriage, and manogamy doesn’t even seem to be a requirement of relationships anymore. I don’t know if I should refer to dating as “relationships” anymore. It’s more like people are just “hooking up” at their convenience with “no strings attached”. When I asked a few of my female and male friends, and family members about their views on relationships, marriage, and commitment I was surprised at how many said, “marriage isn’t the goal”. Although, I wasn’t too surprised about them not wanting to be married, because I too no longer care to be married. I’m most surprised that these views were coming from individuals who’ve never been married.

I have a reason to not want to be married, I’ve been married before, and I realize that it doesn’t change anything. My views are from experience, but I wondered why they felt the same way when they’ve never been married. I asked my sister, she’s next to me in age (1 year a part to be exact). She’s never been married, but she’s adamant about “never getting married”. I’ve tried to convince her to give it a try, and when I think I’ve convinced her, she comes right back with the same firm response, “No”. We’ve had this discussion many times before, and every time it’s the same thing. Her reasoning? Well, she’s witnessed too many divorces, and her dating experiences have convinced her that most men are “Full of shit”, and she doesn’t want any parts of involving herself with a guy who turns out to be an opportunist, Bum, or even worse. I completely understand where she’s coming from, but of course I’d love to see her wed.

Believe it, or not…she’s not alone! I have girlfriends, and male friends who all feel the same way. No one trust being in relationships anymore. One of my male friends said, it’s too many options to settle for just one. Another one of my female friends said, she just doesn’t want to deal with the stress, heartache, and humiliations of finding out that she’s been being played, and cheated on. It seems everyone is guarding their hearts, and no one even believe in the values of marriage, nor do they believe it’ll last forever. Now, when asked what would you marry for, everyone seemed to agree on one thing-Financial stability, and a partner to build a future with. Even though marriage isn’t the goal they’d consider marrying the person that understands the sole purpose of it all. Basically, they go into the relationship with one goal, and that goal is not “Marriage”, but “Nest Egg”.

It seems people are seeking more of a “Teammate’ than a soul mate these days.

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